The6MostAccurateCollegeTweets

 

College can be a confusing place. There are new people, new classrooms, and your roommate doing weird drugs you’ve never heard of. Students stay up all night partying, making you question why your family was so concerned about your grades all through high school. People say college is hard. Ha. As a college student, I’ve come to realize that we’re fed those lies to push us through the ACT, SAT, and numerous versions of the constitution test. Now here, I won’t lie to you. I’m here to unravel the truth about college.

 

College: noun; (1) an educational institution of establishment, in particular. (2) an organized group of professional people with particular aims, duties, and privileges.

 

The definition above is what college was once looked upon as. A place for intellectual individuals to work together, further their education, and ultimately create great things for society. College was looked at as studious, defined as hours spent in the library and debt by college loans—all in order to further intelligence. College was characterized by coffee cups and libraries, lecture halls and exams.

We still have libraries and coffee, and the lecture halls are still in tact. Yet, the stereotype associated with college has vastly changed. Coffee is more frequently used as a hangover tool and study-catch-up method for students who spent the weekend partying before their final exam. While gaining an impressive education was once the goal of college, it is now assumed that college is a time for fun. The best years of your life, where you lack responsibility and can simply party. How much do you go out? How much can you drink? Now those are the truly important questions while in college.

 

I have spent hours analyzing, interpreting, and sorting through scholarly sources and media content—all to find six tweets that fully sum up the college experience. While it may be hard to express the significance and sophistication of college through merely 140 characters, I believe that these tweets most accurately depict college. As an informed college student myself, fully embraced in this non-stereotypical culture, I will give a bit of insight on each tweet for the outsiders. And by outsiders, I mean the ignorant beings who still believe college is for empowerment, to better yourself, and to gain the means for a successful future.

 

 

 

 

                1.   

 

 

 

 

 

These are my favorite music lyrics.

 

 

 

                2.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yeah—like I’m going to listen to a doctor. They think I should stop drinking? Do they also suggest I drop out of college? Try telling my parents that one. I will continue to scope out every doctor who accepts my insurance until I find one who understands the lifestyle. The college lifestyle, that is.

 

 

 

                3. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reading this tweet left me questioning why the author was in college anyway. This kid is a genius. A lime-Gatorade water fountain next to the bed. Built in to the wall? Landlords could double the rent, and many embarrassing vomiting occurrences in classes would be avoided. I suggest all universities look into this.

 

 

               4.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sometimes it physically pains me to be so much smarter than my parents. Gosh mom, don’t you know anything? We’re not in the olden days anymore. It’s hilarious that parents expect us to make money while in college. Do they even realize how consuming drinking is? The pregame, going out, drunk eating, napping, the Netflix hangover. Like I have time for anything else. Are our parents trying to give us a premature heart attack?

 

 

               

               5.

 

 

 

 

 

 

This text is a necessity. After a night of drinking, it is important to check up on all of our friends to make sure that they’re not only alive, but haven’t attempted to order a pet baby elephant online, again. And then, it is important to compare how drunk we got last night and all of the decisions that we will pretend to regret, but ideally, did it for the impressive drunk story to add to our collection. Planning to skip my classes this week and get started on my drunken story memoir, and when it becomes a bestseller, I can afford to pay my parents back for all of this money they insisted they invest in college! Old people.

 

 

    

               6.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’ve never quite been one for religion, but amen. Although us college students love to brag about our crazy drinking stories, blacking out once in a while adds to some great ones too. Then, we just have others to tell us that we stripped naked at the bar and attempted to steal a police officer’s handcuffs, to then proceed to try to arrest him. Sometimes we don’t want to remember the night before, and when we see our night going south, there’s an easy solution—drink more.

 

 

Reading through these tweets, it’s tough to hold back tears. The words are so honest and heartfelt, and truly provide a view into the empowerment and freedom experienced through the life of college students—which is often distorted through the media with an emphasis on textbooks and libraries. The words above are not only words to study, but phrases to live by in a college town.

 

So what should you take away from this?

College: noun; An environment focused on partying, large consumptions of alcohol, and streets covered in vomit.